The Impossible Knife of Memory

Starred review from October 21, 2013
As in Speak, Anderson provides a riveting study of a psychologically scarred teenager, peeling back layers of internal defenses to reveal a girl’s deepest wounds. Her heroine, 17-year-old Hayley, is no stranger to loss. Her mother died when she was small, and she was later abandoned by her father’s alcoholic girlfriend. Now the only family Hayley has left is her father, a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, whose horrific flashbacks have brought chaos into their lives. After traveling the country in a “dented eighteen-wheeler,” the two of them have settled down in her father’s hometown. Hayley feels like an outsider at a high school populated by “zombies,” and, at home, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to pretend that her father is getting better. Then Hayley is drawn to Finn, a boy who seemingly likes her for who she is. Hayley’s anxiety about her father’s unpredictable behavior reverberates throughout the novel, overshadowing and distorting her memories of better times. It’s a tough, absorbing story of the effects of combat on soldiers and the people who love them. Ages 12–up. Agent: Amy Berkower, Writers House.

November 1, 2013
A family struggles to hold itself together in the wake of war. Hayley Kincain and her father, Andy, a decorated veteran, have returned to their small upstate New York hometown after years of unschooling and long-haul trucking. Ostensibly, they're back so Hayley can have a typical senior year of high school, but it's clear that Andy's untreated PTSD has made it impossible for him to make a living as a trucker. Both Kincains are bright, sarcastic loners plagued by agonizing memories that won't quite stay repressed, despite their best efforts, and that punctuate the narrative in counterpoint: Andy's experiences during his four tours in Iraq and Afghanistan appear fully formed, while Hayley's childhood recollections are more fragmented and less reliable than they at first seem. As Andy's mental and physical health deteriorate, Hayley is forced deeper into the role of caretaker. It's a part she's been playing so well for so long she doesn't even realize how much she resents the unfairness of it all until her sweet, bantering boyfriend, Finn, points it out. Anderson sensitively addresses the many problems--physical recovery, grief and survivor's guilt, chemical dependency, panic attacks and suicidal tendencies--that veterans can face when trying to reintegrate. This is less a bravura performance than a solid one, but Hayley's strong, wryly vulnerable voice carries the narrative toward a resolutely imperfect, hopeful conclusion. A characteristically honest and deeply felt exploration of the lingering scars of war. (Fiction. 14 & up)

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Starred review from January 1, 2014

Gr 9 Up-Hayley is the daughter of a veteran, and his PTSD colors every aspect of their lives. After serving his country, Andy is trying to rebuild some stability for himself and his daughter, but each day is a challenge for them both. Hayley lives with the constant threat of her father harming himself or others while also dealing with feelings of abandonment after essentially losing her parental figures. She copes through snark and skepticism but begins to let her guard down when her charming, easygoing classmate, Finn, gives her a much-needed taste of normal teenage life. A relationship with Finn opens the door to the possibility of trusting again, but it's not easy. Through Hayley's tenuous search for balance, Anderson explores the complicated nature of perception and memory, and how individuals manage to carry on after experiencing the worst. Readers will be thoroughly invested in this book's nuanced cast of characters and their struggles. Hayley's relatable first-person narration is interspersed with flashbacks of Andy's brutal war experiences, providing a visceral look at his inner demons. The endearing Finn and Hayley's bubbly best friend, Gracie, add levity to the narrative, even as they, too, grapple with their own problems. With powerful themes of loyalty and forgiveness, this tightly woven story is a forthright examination of the realities of war and its aftermath on soldiers and their families. One of Anderson's strongest and most relevant works to date.-Allison Tran, Mission Viejo Library, CA

Copyright 2014 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from November 15, 2013
Grades 9-12 *Starred Review* There's a compelling theme running through Anderson's powerful, timely novel, and it's this: The difference between forgetting something and not remembering is big enough to drive an eighteen-wheeler through. Hayley Kincaid won't allow herself to remember the happy times in her life, and why should she? After five years on the road with her trucker father, Andy, the two are finally staying put in her grandmother's old house in upstate New York. But military tours in both Iraq and Afghanistan have left Andy racked by nightmares of gunfire and roadside bombs, and alcohol and drugs are his means of coping. Short, gripping chapters presented in italics appear on occasion and are told from Andy's point-of-view as the war rages around him. As her father's PTSD grows worse, and the past is ever present, 17-year-old Hayley assumes the role of parent. But there's a good part of her life, too: Finn. He's got dreams for his future, and, as Hayley lets him in to her own scary reality, she tentatively begins to imagine a future of her own. Unfortunatelyor fortunatelymemories have a way of catching up, and as each hits, it cuts away at Hayley's protective bubble like a knife. This is challenging material, but in Anderson's skilled hands, readers will find a light shining on the shadowy reality of living with someone who has lived through warand who is still at war with himself. HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: A major marketing campaign, including a national author tour, backs up this latest from multiple-award-winning Anderson.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2013, American Library Association.)

July 1, 2014
Hayley Kincain has spent the last five years riding shotgun in her father's rig. Constant movement has helped keep the past at bay for both Hayley and her veteran dad. When they settle down so Hayley can attend high school for senior year, their memories threaten to overtake them both. As ever, Anderson has the inside track on the emotional lives of adolescents.

(Copyright 2014 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

March 1, 2014
Hayley Kincain has spent the last five years riding shotgun in her father's rig, discussing fractions and evolution -- an on-the-road version of home schooling. Constant movement has helped keep the past at bay for both Hayley and her dad, a recent veteran plagued by graphic flashbacks and screaming nightmares. When they settle down so Hayley can attend her hometown high school for senior year, the dangerous memories threaten to overtake them both. Hayley's caustic observations about the "fully assimilated zombies" who swarm the halls and the oxymoronic "required volunteer community service" are trademark Anderson. Old friend Gracie shares childhood memories with Hayley, but her stories draw blanks. What Hayley does remember, and can't forgive, is her father's girlfriend Trish walking out on them. Now Trish has reappeared, and Hayley blames her for making Dad's drunken rages and blackouts even worse. How can she possibly care about math? Sweet, "adorkable" Finn offers to tutor her; he is smart enough to take it slow, and as she falls for him he even coaxes her to dare to think about a future. As ever, Anderson has the inside track on the emotional lives of adolescents; she plays high school clich's for laughs but compassionately depicts Hayley's suffering as well as the hurts of Finn and Gracie, whose families are struggling with their own demons. The novel's theme is woven artfully throughout as both Hayley and her dad fight the flashes of memory that are sure to tear them apart unless they confront them once and for all. lauren adams

(Copyright 2014 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)