Bittersweet (Oprah's Book Club)

January 31, 2022
Business consultant Cain (Quiet) returns with an eye-opening take on the underestimated virtues of melancholy. She suggests that bittersweetness—“a tendency to states of longing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute awareness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world”—affords the opportunity to channel “pain into creativity, transcendence, and love,” as exemplified by musicians and other artists. Cain handily traverses fields as diverse as neuroscience, popular music, religion, and business management to find instances of the transformation of pain and longing into fulfillment: the music of Leonard Cohen, for example, is “a transcendence delivery system,” and in Michigan, a hospital billing department’s culture of caring for distressed or bereaved employees resulted in collecting bills faster. Though Cain’s panoramic scope covers some familiar ground (U.S. culture’s “tyranny of positivity” has been critiqued before), this ambitious work impresses in its dexterous integration of disparate thought traditions into a cohesive, moving, and insightful whole. Like a more intuitive Malcolm Gladwell, Cain delivers a deeply felt study of the profound uses of sorrow and melancholy, a perfect manual for coping with tough times. Agent: Richard Pine, InkWell Management

March 1, 2022

In her first adult book since 2012's bestselling Quiet, Cain explores how a bittersweet perspective can help people overcome individual and collective pain, while encouraging compassion and unity. Cain defines a bittersweet outlook as "a tendency to states of longing, poignancy, and sorrow." It's a recognition that the light and the dark are inseparable; embracing the imperfections of the world goes hand-in-hand with a desire to make the world better. Cain utilizes an engaging blend of interviews, research, firsthand accounts, and biographical anecdotes to explore the many beneficial aspects of appreciating this mindset. Examples sprawl among many disciplines including the arts, religion, business, and family life. While melancholia was appreciated in the past, modern American society's emphasis on relentless positivity has led to numerous negative consequences, argues Cain. She explores the harmful effects of emotional suppression, including hostile work environments and generational trauma. Grief and loss are addressed, notably the death of Cain's father from COVID, and Cain posits that a bittersweet disposition helps prepare people to navigate and process life's difficulties. VERDICT Timely in its focus, this latest work by Cain delivers an eloquent and compelling case supporting the transformative possibilities of embracing sorrow. Highly recommended.--Anitra Gates

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March 15, 2022
The author of Quiet turns her attention to sorrow and longing and how these emotions can be transformed into creativity and love. Cain uses the term bittersweet to refer to a state of melancholy and specifically addresses individuals who have "a tendency to states of longing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute awareness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world." With great compassion, she explores causes for these emotions by candidly chronicling her personal experiences and those of others throughout history who have suffered loss, including Plato, Charles Darwin, C.S. Lewis, Leonard Cohen, and Maya Angelou. "As Angelou's story suggests," she writes, "many people respond to loss by healing in others the wounds that they themselves have suf-fered." Cain argues persuasively that these emotions can be channeled into artistic pursuits such as music, writing, dancing, or cooking, and by tapping into them, we can transform "the way we parent, the way we lead, the way we love, and the way we die." If we don't transform our sorrows and longings of the past, she writes, we may inflict them on present relationships through abuse, domination, or neglect. Throughout, the author examines the concept of loss from various religious viewpoints, and she looks at the ways loss can affect individuals and how we can integrate it into our lives to our benefit. Cain contends that the romantic view of melancholy has "waxed and waned" over the years. Currently, a "tyranny of positivity" can often be found in the workplace, and the "social code" of keeping negative feelings hidden abounds. However, she points out the benefits that can come from opening up versus keeping everything inside. As a first step, she encourages us to examine our lives and ask ourselves what we are longing for, in a deep and meaningful way, and if we can turn that ache into a creative offering. A beautifully written tribute to underappreciated emotions.

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